A Heartbreak Observed
A wave of anxiety hit me as I dropped my elementary aged son off at school this morning. I prayed a prayer of protection over him as he got out of the car. The school was playing music today as students arrived, but you could see the sadness, the concern, the seriousness on every educator’s face as they greeted the children. I couldn’t help the tears that spilled over as I left the school. Why…again…
I don’t believe I’m alone as a parent, grieving and acknowledging that again a group of parents’ worst nightmare has occurred. We are all in this life together, and nothing happens in isolation. When something happens to one part of our society, it also happens to us. Today our collective hearts are broken.
Already I see social media posts moving to push this into a political argument. Please stop. Precious innocent lives were stolen. Wherever you stand on the surrounding and impacting political implications, can we focus on the humanity and the collective pain for a minute? We need to sit in the discomfort of grief. Don’t get me wrong, change and action need to happen, but we miss a very important element if we skip past the grief.
The social worker in me is also stirred to respond. As you work through your own process, I would suggest the following three things:
- Acknowledge and talk about the pain, impact, and grief. These lives mattered and the injustice should be felt. Allow yourself to have all the feelings that come and move through them accepting them as they come. Talk with others you trust to process through these feelings.
- As parents, listen to your child’s thoughts, feelings, and fears. Invite them to feel their way through this as well. Make yourself available and present, and hug your kids just a little tighter.
- Critically think. What do you have the power to do? How can you use your voice, your actions, or your time to make a difference? Where do you have influence you can use for good in the wake of this tragedy? Maybe it’s writing a letter to a legislator, or the school where this took place letting them know they aren’t alone, making a donation, getting involved with your local parent teacher association or school board. There are many positive actions you can take to use your voice for change that will benefit our children.
There is nothing that makes this better or okay. It is a heartbreaking tragedy. Have grace for one another and choose to be kind. Feel your way through it, hug your children, and take responsible action.